Friends and enemies

I would rather have a friend that I can feel good with, than to have an enemy just so I can feel better than someone.

Being the best

"I want to be good. I want to be the best! And everyone does! But it's so so bad to like being the best at the expense of someone else being bad. I like to be the best but only at my own way."

Just a contemplation. What do you think? Comments are welcome.

First post in a video format!

Hello everyone. I hope this one will be an interesting post, it's my first video! I hope you like it!



In some parts of this video, it's just me thinking out aloud. I don't mean them to be something very serious. It's not like this is religion, more like light hearted convesations and open ended ideas. Treat it not like an open door through which you can come in or come out of, but as keys that may unlock certain doors within and without you...

The double edged sword of comparison.

Say you are walking down the street in a rainy afternoon and you slip up and fall. Of course, this is all too funny to most people around you. While they laugh you simply get up and walk away peacefully...

Falling down is no biggie for you, no worries there. Let's move our eye outward to others.

So they laughed. But what if you had never fell down? Then they wouldn't have had anything to compare themselves to. So they wouldn't have felt this satisfaction. That's called comparative good.
There are many forms of good. Comparative good is different than good in of itself.

It is true that opposites help you to see better. It's a good technique to use. It helps you to gauge situations.

But comparative good is a double edged sword! It is meant to be used wisely. Good and bad need to be balanced. If you only focus on the bad, you are in danger.

See, these people laughed, but their happiness was dependant on outside events. When your happiness depends upon someone else, it is like a cloud, you can't stand on it. It's flimsy.

If they laughed, don't worry. You were the source of their happiness. If it wasn't for you, they'd have felt nothing. They depend not on themselves to feel good, but on you! Everyone only wants to feel good, and you gave them that. You owned a piece of their destiny! You are not weaker than them, you are much stronger.

To think about this, I will use a rather crude example. Let's say you are a guy, who's the prettiest girl in the world for you?* Say you were kissing Angelina Jolie. (Hey, when you're good, you're good.) Later on I ask you, wow, really? I bet that was awesome. (I apparently don't care about true love, only looks.) And you say, hell yeah, it felt good to not kiss someone really ugly like all the other times. She isn't fat, isn't skinny either. Her skin isn't rough neither is her hair dry.

No! No one would say that. Because that event would have been good in of itself. Likely, you would have mentioned many positive things about it. No one would be silly as to be thinking about these negative things during that experience.

Even if it was the only lady in the world, you would have enjoyed it. Right or wrong?

When something is good, it is good in of itself. Fire is fire, ice is ice. Why mix the two together? Why burn ice? Ice doesn't need fire to be cold, neither does fire need ice to be hot. They simply are these things by themselves.

When you fell, you brought clarity to other's situation. They should have thanked you! You gave them a gift. We may not see the good in our lives. But comparative good is not good in of itself. Rightfully, it is a tool to bring you into good!

Laughing means that they used the other side of the sword instead. They derived pleasure from pain and that is a crooked way of thinking, as is in the above lady's example.

Some people love to see drama on TV, because at least I'm not as messed up like them. My life may not be too good, but at least I have something to eat and I am not starving like others.

But would you like your life if these opposite things didn't exist? Don't forget to focus on the positive! That's what makes your life good. Maybe they only like these things, because if it weren't for them, they would have nothing at all.

Don't forget the negative things, it's not bad to think about them. After all, how can you be positive if you don't wash away the negative first? It's really important.

Hot may teach you about cold and vice-versa. But also remember our goal here. It's to feel good. We may need only cold or only hot, it's up to you to decide.

Are you resolving negative things within yourself and are improving your life? Or are you thinking about negative things to fill a hole in your heart through comparative good?

Try thinking more about the good things. When you're faced with a negative emotion, instead of trying to get rid of it, if that's not working, maybe try a different strategy. Try thinking, what's the emotion that's opposite to this one? What emotion would make everything alright right now? Imagine it!

How do I need to feel right now, to be able to say that I feel good? Imagine that.

Talking to yourself is great, but talking is not the only way to understand an emotion. They can be tough to crack! Sometimes imagination helps too. Make up what you want to feel. After all, emotions aren't words. It makes sense to use imagination as well.

Don't think about how you don't want to feel, how do you want to feel? Say you're feeling dull, how would it feel if you felt really alive and excited? What's your personal view of the opposite you seek? Try to imagine it and tune in to it! You have the power.

Try focusing more on feeling good and your life will surely improve!

Thanks all for reading.

Below I link a video related to the subject from the wise Sadhguru. It is very thought-provoking, I am sure you will enjoy it.



I wish a great day to everyone!

* I mean only to draw a comparison. I believe that beauty within creates beauty without. But that is a tale left for another time...

The tale of time.

What are you doing now? You are here reading my post. What's going on?

You may not see, but many many things are going on. You have clothes you have hand picked for the day. You are in a situation that no one has EVER been before, ever. Your nails and hair are a certain length, your day has played out in a certain way. Many things have added up to produce this moment.

Guess what? One day, all of this will have been forgotten. You won't remember any of these little details. You will have forgotten that you have read my message. The present moment will have simply been erased all together from your memory.

I too will one day have forgotten the many small details that brought me here to write this post.

All fades with time. All of the present moment will evolve into being a memory, ever distant with time, until it becomes nothing at all.

And you will have forgotten this and that.

Looking from the future, all the things in your life now are as good as gone. You have lost them all. All that you see now is no more. It doesn't exist anymore. It is nothing.

One day, all this will merely be something that you will not even remember you have forgotten.

Isn't it nostalgic to look at the present moment? Isn't the present moment special? You are looking at something that doesn't exist. You have retrieved that which has been long lost!

So contemplate the present moment. You have lost it all already. But you have been given a second chance. A chance to look at everything one more time. A chance to remember what you have forgotten! It feels good to have... this, again. It is back, even if it is just for a short amount of time.

The only thing we really have... is time.

The current waves of yin and yang.

Our western society is about wanting more things. We move forward, even if it means we must experiment on this animal. We show off our abilities, that we're better, stronger than the others.

People want to feel uplifted, they smoke marijuana for recreational purposes. "This is the high I've been seeking."

Ultimately we look without ourselves and direct our energy outside. This is very dynamic, masculine, yang in nature.

Our god resides in heaven, which is not down but up. He is the great "father". How can he, then, give birth?

Destruction and doing nothing are both seen as bad. But there is wisdom to be seen in yin. It is in water that life first arose, and she always seeks to occupy the lowest places. We, too, come from the waterly womb of the mother. It is said that water is close to the Tao, which is often equated with femininity.

If you smoke, do it to gain more knowledge and understanding, not to have fun. Recreation is wrecking the creation. The word can abyss hints that it helps us to see how we are in the inside, an area where there is no light. And to penetrate into the secrets of the world.

To be a criminal and steal a lot of money is seen as cool. Serial killers are loved, they marry while in jail. Since we are very yang oriented, when we see effort and action we tend to find it intriguing. It enchants us. Creation. Is the police, who stop the criminals, not hated? It's because they arrest motion.

Death is feared. We believe that there may be pain or nothingness when we cease to be. But how can we know? Maybe death is just a new beginning! It could be much better.

Not all of society is the same. There are some who try to use yin to their advantage. One such movement is nofap. It is all about not doing something. The promise is one of confidence, energy and better health. They are seen as loony, science hasn't delved much into these areas. It isn't discussed at all in school, either. We are gravely left on our own to learn about it.

When a problem arises, like an unpleasant emotion, we try to "think positively." We re-assure ourselves that all is fine! But to do this, we must create something. That takes a lot of effort. Sometimes less is more.

Say you are feeling nervous around people, social anxiety. You may try to think positively, as in: "I am with my friends, they won't tease me or anything." "I am coming off totally normal, it looks worse than it is." "I am always able to hold a conversation, it's cool."

Be wary of arguing with your emotions. They have no life of their own, what is there to argue with? It's not as if anxiety is going to say: "Hey, you know what, that's right. There's no reason to worry. I'm going away now."

Plus, you were feeling okay just before. You don't have to tell yourself anything new, you just have to undo what has just happened. Why not fight fire with fire? We can simply say no to feeling bad. That way we are tackling the problem head-on. It is taking the path of least resistance.

Practice with the word "no". Don't overdo it. If some emotion still remains, let it be. Now that you're not feeding it, it shall fade. (See previous blog post.) Less is more.

If you can say no to something you distance yourself from it, and through it strengthen your own personality. There is only so much room up in there. To be who you are you must say no to the things you are not.

Total yang can not exist, neither can total yin. If you would try to reach one of them, as you would be so, so close and reach out your hand to grasp it, it would in that second all slip like sand through your fingers as the opposite would, like magic, suddenly come into being. A joke or a movie that is really, really bad becomes funny and then everyone loves it. As we go forward in areas such as technology, medicine and psychology, how can everything be going backwards? As we dangerously approach the precipice of total yang, yin in being created and destruction is imminent. At that point, something truly wonderful will, too, happen. Again the tide will turn as ever the great cycle repeats itself.

Taoist contemplations on anxiety.

Taoism tells us that what is weak overcomes that which is strong. Water is soft yet it can wear out the hardest rock.

Sounds... mystical. But anxiety has incorporated this principle. Take an hypochondriac or an OCDer, they keep worrying over something that they recognize is illogical. For example, a headache, it could be a tumor. Silly, because how rare is that compared to a stress headache? And then comes in google. "It's really uncommon in young people, without a family history." "I don't drink, I don't smoke, I don't eat spaghetti-os. It's unlikely I have it."

These are the facts. You can't argue with facts! But facts are rigid, like stones that never frail. Wind or sun, there they remain, unshaken by all else. But emotions are not so. They are a slight essence that can not be grasped, only felt. They do not talk at all yet they are heard louder then thunder.

One tries to convince himself that he is healthy, using a certain piece of data. An X-ray or an MRI is taken. But it isn't the last of it. Anxiety, being formless, will simply find a way around that rigidity. "OK, OK... The tests came out clear. But what if the test isn't very accurate?" or "What if the doctor didn't look at it carefully enough and missed something?"

Anxiety is using an inherently silly arguement. How can we intelligently think about something that lacks intelligence to begin with? It is like trying to describe a colour using words. There isn't really anywhere we can begin.

It is this weakness that allows her to send many in a spiral out of control. To convince with an unconvincing argument is an example of the skill of no skill. Action through inaction. Thus, these are some of the hardest worries to let go of.

In the following video we hear more paradoxes surrounding anxiety. (30 seconds listen.)



The same principle of doing nothing can also be the cure.

There is a deep wisdom behind all this. How did it come about? Did it appear by chance, was it designed? Does it matter? If we say yes, perhaps it only does because we chose to believe that it does. Or maybe it matters because the truth is something that exists alone and not just within our perception. And it is good to acheive the truth, because she is inherently good. And so is the moon, who brings light into the night, guiding us in our quest for her.

Let us dwell away, my moonlit readers...

Settle in

Here we dwell as the glow of the moon shines upon us. We will wonder about all things knowledge. Self-help, spirituality, philosophy... Be welcome!