Say you are walking down the street in a rainy afternoon and you slip up and fall. Of course, this is all too funny to most people around you. While they laugh you simply get up and walk away peacefully...
Falling down is no biggie for you, no worries there. Let's move our eye outward to others.
So they laughed. But what if you had never fell down? Then they wouldn't have had anything to compare themselves to. So they wouldn't have felt this satisfaction. That's called comparative good.
There are many forms of good. Comparative good is different than good in of itself.
It is true that opposites help you to see better. It's a good technique to use. It helps you to gauge situations.
But comparative good is a double edged sword! It is meant to be used wisely. Good and bad need to be balanced. If you only focus on the bad, you are in danger.
See, these people laughed, but their happiness was dependant on outside events. When your happiness depends upon someone else, it is like a cloud, you can't stand on it. It's flimsy.
If they laughed, don't worry. You were the source of their happiness. If it wasn't for you, they'd have felt nothing. They depend not on themselves to feel good, but on you! Everyone only wants to feel good, and you gave them that. You owned a piece of their destiny! You are not weaker than them, you are much stronger.
To think about this, I will use a rather crude example. Let's say you are a guy, who's the prettiest girl in the world for you?* Say you were kissing Angelina Jolie. (Hey, when you're good, you're good.) Later on I ask you, wow, really? I bet that was awesome. (I apparently don't care about true love, only looks.) And you say, hell yeah, it felt good to not kiss someone really ugly like all the other times. She isn't fat, isn't skinny either. Her skin isn't rough neither is her hair dry.
No! No one would say that. Because that event would have been good in of itself. Likely, you would have mentioned many positive things about it. No one would be silly as to be thinking about these negative things during that experience.
Even if it was the only lady in the world, you would have enjoyed it. Right or wrong?
When something is good, it is good in of itself. Fire is fire, ice is ice. Why mix the two together? Why burn ice? Ice doesn't need fire to be cold, neither does fire need ice to be hot. They simply are these things by themselves.
When you fell, you brought clarity to other's situation. They should have thanked you! You gave them a gift. We may not see the good in our lives. But comparative good is not good in of itself. Rightfully, it is a tool to bring you into good!
Laughing means that they used the other side of the sword instead. They derived pleasure from pain and that is a crooked way of thinking, as is in the above lady's example.
Some people love to see drama on TV, because at least I'm not as messed up like them. My life may not be too good, but at least I have something to eat and I am not starving like others.
But would you like your life if these opposite things didn't exist? Don't forget to focus on the positive! That's what makes your life good. Maybe they only like these things, because if it weren't for them, they would have nothing at all.
Don't forget the negative things, it's not bad to think about them. After all, how can you be positive if you don't wash away the negative first? It's really important.
Hot may teach you about cold and vice-versa. But also remember our goal here. It's to feel good. We may need only cold or only hot, it's up to you to decide.
Are you resolving negative things within yourself and are improving your life? Or are you thinking about negative things to fill a hole in your heart through comparative good?
Try thinking more about the good things. When you're faced with a negative emotion, instead of trying to get rid of it, if that's not working, maybe try a different strategy. Try thinking, what's the emotion that's opposite to this one? What emotion would make everything alright right now? Imagine it!
How do I need to feel right now, to be able to say that I feel good? Imagine that.
Talking to yourself is great, but talking is not the only way to understand an emotion. They can be tough to crack! Sometimes imagination helps too. Make up what you want to feel. After all, emotions aren't words. It makes sense to use imagination as well.
Don't think about how you don't want to feel, how do you want to feel? Say you're feeling dull, how would it feel if you felt really alive and excited? What's your personal view of the opposite you seek? Try to imagine it and tune in to it! You have the power.
Try focusing more on feeling good and your life will surely improve!
Thanks all for reading.
Below I link a video related to the subject from the wise Sadhguru. It is very thought-provoking, I am sure you will enjoy it.
I wish a great day to everyone!
* I mean only to draw a comparison. I believe that beauty within creates beauty without. But that is a tale left for another time...
